The Alchemist's Diary

It was the summer of 1999. We had just moved into our new house, in yet a new city. After few days, we somehow managed to set our stuff in the house. One day, out of curiosity, I entered the underground hall. At the end of it, there was that tiny little room. Even though it was a sunny noon, in that hall it was absolute dark. With the torch light, I dared to enter it. There was a small rusty padlock. I touched it and the hall echoed with a clicking sound. The lock opened and with it, my heart skipped a beat out of fear. Gathering courage, I entered and the room was almost empty! There were no windows, no cupboards, no furniture or anything. And then when I was about to leave the room, my foot struck something and with it I fainted.

I don’t know for how long I was unconscious, but upon regaining my composure, my only thought was to leave that place and run. But it was just between me and the door and I could not go out. It was some sort of book, bound in dark leather. 

Could it be a ledger for a secret society? I was sure; it was the source code for some black magic. The Exorcist and Jumanji somehow popped up in my mind. But somehow I was able to take it with me to the ground floor. I placed it in the yard and standing a few feet away, I opened it with a long stick, expecting a glow of light to emit and hit me in the face. Nothing happened. Slowly I moved forward and tried to read the partially legible handwritten notes. Of course, magicians do not print things. They always write it with their own hands. Or may be it was the book of alchemy? I always wanted to turn sand into gold. So I started to read and that was what I found:

***

On the first day, God created the dog. God said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life of 20 years”. The dog said: “That’s too long to be barking. Give me 10 and I will give you back 10”. God agreed!

On the second day, God asked the monkey. God said: “Entertain people, and do monkey tricks! Make people laugh. I will give you a 20 year life-span”. The monkey said: “I can’t! Take 10 back.” God agreed!

On the third day, God created a cow. “You must go to the field in the sun and provide milk to your farmer. I will give you 60 years.” The cow said, “Wow that is tough. Take 40 years I will live 20 years.” God agreed!

On the fourth day, God created man, “Eat, sleep, marry and enjoy! You get 20 years.” Man said, “Only 20? Tell you what, I’ll take my 20 years, 40 of cow,10 of monkey and the 10 which dog gave you, so,…….. 


Okay! God agreed!

So that is why the first 20 years we enjoy, the next 40 years we slave in the sun to serve our family, the next 10 we do monkey tricks and the last 10 years we sit in the porch; barking at anyone who comes! Life has been explained.

***

I have found the alchemy of life indeed. Even though I am still unable to know the original author of this diary, yet it is an immense trove of information.