Monday, December 12, 2011

And Yet I am Jobless

It is said that there is no alternative to experience. I did not agree with that until I learned it the hard way. After years of futile efforts and false hopes, I did not get a job or a scholarship.  As far as I can remember, I have applied and been rejected for about 20 scholarships. Moreover, I have been declined the same number of jobs over the past few years. So I feel confident that in this physical universe that we inhabit, if there is one person qualified enough to comment on the state of employment that should be me. Now that all other options are exhausted, I thought of putting up my case before you people and you should decide why I could not get anything despite all my efforts? Here is my resume. Read it and then decide.

(P.S. All of you out there who denied me scholarships and jobs, do not read this or you would be ashamed and regretful. :P)


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. LOL @ 100 Friends/11,687 friend requests sent! You could try for a job at Facebook as their application tester. No other resume is better suited for that position! :)

  3. - you forgot to mention sudko and dramas and applications on mobile.yehi bright future hai.:-)

  4. Hehehe...Israr, I'm almost speechless! It would be a tough decision after reading your resume! So cool!!

  5. LoL @ The University of Facebook :P Once more, I read part of the opening paragraph in my reader, knowing that it's most likely leading us to classic Israr entertainment! Ahh, glad you didn't disappoint :P :))

  6. wah wah wah
    ek or qualification likh do- elley ke kabbas wali ..! :P
    bada hi wadiya post that..! :) and yep i agree you should try for a job on FB.! :P

  7. lol. nothing less expected from you.
    most probably you have been rejected because you are too good. haha

    this is so amusing :P

  8. hehe u din get a job cos as is apparent ur over-qualified :P

  9. I agree with Sadiya... u r way more qualified :P
    Fuo read :)

  10. hahaha.. initially i felt that i am gonna read some serious stuffs this time about how unfair life has been to you... but i couldn't stop laughing after reading this..!! LOL

  11. I sympathise. So many firms are looking for someone in their twenties with thirty years' experience.

  12. wow bro!
    University of Facebook and Ufone International University.

    I am wondering you have studied from such high standard institutes but still jobless.


  14. he he he....God! What all kinds of ideas you have! And all turn out to be so hilarious! May be you are too good to be employed! And oh is that fb and sms calculations real? My goodness!
    he he...enjoyed (as always)! Regards:)

  15. Waow thats really IMPRESSIVE post Israr !
    the resume is highly competent like i cant compete the records of sms & mms even in hundred years :P that's really something exceptional in you that why people of this earth are not appointing you i think you must try somewhere in PLUTO or JUPITER i am damn sure u will get a perfect job there :D

    as always i enjoyed your writing :) this is again a new color of the scenery of Misterio vida's blog :)

    A new style with unique idea that's MARVELOUS !!!

    keep writing and sharing :)

    best wishes :)

  16. You do all of these! and yet claim to be jobless!!
    This is the height of modesty, I should say ..ahaa

  17. da cv di ma pa face book upoad kola ho ma wail hasi na hafa she? funland

  18. OMG: Your CV/Resume is above average.
    Please accept the following offer with handsome package:
    Commission plus salary:
    1-For the time being you will be working as Pak Presidency Intern without pay.
    2-You will move up if the boss does not return even after maximum medical recovery.
    3-Fringe benefits:
    Mininmum 10% commission plus bonus and a free malshia barbar after your loyalty is established.
    All depends if electricity is ever produced again, new notes will be printed to help inflation become hyperinflation and payouts.
    Good luck Israr!

  19. OMG you crack me up. Quite an achievement you got there.. haha.. Those schools and companies that rejected you run by idiots..If i were them I'll hire you as soon I read your distinctions.. haha..

  20. you totally caught me unawares!! :DDD
    i was reading the first para so seriously & really felt for your situation of being jobless & was scanning your resume equally seriously & fooled me big time!

    you are way too qualified Israr

    and hey the fraandhsip requests sent are karib karib baraah hazaar & only 100 friends??!!!

  21. Israr im surprised!!! but i believe in fate...rather than ur perseverance and talent thz 1thng(the supernatural power or fate) whch decides on all the living beings n the world...i knw sombdy who doesnt even knw anythg reg their sub but now shockd 2 c his position n a reputd 1thng i tl u s "try n try agn u vl succeed"...."later the better" wishng u frnd 4r bright future....

  22. Hello.
    LOL...Israr, you are way over-qualified. You have more experience & expertise than your would-be employers...that does not bode well with them. Time to build your own empire, my thing you know, WE will be the ones coming to YOU for a job! University of Facebook!
    Awesome post! I am always highly entertained whenever I visit here. Keep it up! Like the new profile photo as well.

    Thanks for visiting. I always look forward to seeing you.
    BTW, hope you find that beautiful wife you're looking for! ;-)

  23. Arey wah, aap ka toh kaafi experience hai matlab. Itne friend request aur SMS shayad hi koi send kiye ho. I am at my wit's end. Aapko job kyun nahi milra? Agar aap ki yeh haal hai, toh dusron ka kya hoga? Sigh.

    so I am not very good in Urdu. But I HAD to comment in that language! Hope I am making sense. :-) LOVED the post.

  24. Israr1
    u r realy over qualified and employers have fear that u can be dangerous for them like Dr. Adian....p next time when u apply for any job plz attatch this cv along with...., i m sure this time u will be successful lolz...
    they realy done totally wrong in this way that they ignored such a creative person...:)
    In some cases i think when anyone didnt get ur right inspite of having ability then he use to waste or misuse his or her abilitiese as a revenge.... keep on sharing

  25. I am facinated by ur qualification, u r having exect calculatn abt frnd ruquests, mms, msgs....p it shows ur memory power and the way u wrote it, showes ur creativity marvlous post i enjoyed it.

  26. ever heard the phrase "everything happens for a reason" ? or let me put it islamicly, Allah jo kerta hai behter kerta hai kyunke wo behter jannay wala hai. mayoosi kufr hai. recite 2 nafals and ask Allah to give you peace in ur heart.

  27. oh, ur resume just opened. are you really jobless?

  28. Love the resume Israr - it really tickles me! The '*all socres devided by 2' is brilliant as is the rest of it!

    I would certainly employ you! (Please forward a large donation to enable me to set up a company :o]).

    Anna :o]

  29. @Foz...

    yes the idea sounds good...shall try :)

  30. @ES...

    lolz...nice suggestion...shall apply to FB :)

  31. @Sudoku...

    ah thanks for reminding...i shall update my resume to include these virtues as well :P

  32. @Balquis...

    thanks for liking..yes i guess it was tough for the panel to decide..but still i am hopeful :P

  33. @Princess Fiona...

    how can i disappoint a princess? :P i am glad you liked it... these days i cannot find much time to write so uploading these random things :)

  34. @Crystal...

    yes more or less 500 per day :) :P

  35. @Suvaiba...

    naw naw.. woh to u ka copyright hai how can i write it in my own resume? :P

    Dhaneval... :) thanks for liking :)and yes i am thinking about applying for a FB job :) lets see

  36. @inpsector Saahab..

    thanks so much for liking it... and i say you expect too much sir :)

  37. @Sadiya merchant...

    welcome back :)

    yes i now realized may be i was over qualified :P

  38. @jyoti Mishra...

    thanks for liking...:)

    but what can one day? i mean one can increase ones qualification but how to decrease? :P

  39. @Madhulika...

    :) so you still think like is not unfair to me? very bad of you :P hahaha... i am glad you liked it :)

  40. @Dave King...

    as usual u summed it up wonderfully :)

  41. @Deborah...

    thanks for reading and liking :)

  42. @Basharat Ali...

    welcome back...

    yes see even after studying in such quality institutions i am still jobless :( :P

  43. Shahan Rao...

    thank you thank you :) I am glad you are back...and you liked it :)

  44. @Nasnin Nasser...

    Khaali khopri shaitan ka ghar hai :P so maybe thats why these kind of ideas come into my mind :P

    yes i guess thats as far as i can remember...there could be an error of + or - 1% :)

    and i am glad comments are always motivating and encouraging :)

  45. @maria almas..

    thank you.. :)
    so you think it is impressive naw?
    yes yes i know you cant compete with me in sms/mms :P

    ah..Pluto is a good idea...i heard there are lots of diamonds in Pluto :)

    thanks for appreciating my little efforts...
    and the blog would not have been possible without the support of its contributors :)

  46. @Pygmalion...

    hahaha...thanks for liking... i meant i do not have a paid job :P

  47. @Tariq Mian...

    hahaha...yup i liked the idea..but see for that kind of job...the resume will be different..which i cannot have... certain years of experience in corruption is must before applying so... :) and maybe there would be then a resume-gate :P

  48. @mayen...

    thank you thank you :)

    i am glad that at least there are some people who would hire me :P i wish you have a company of your own soon so that you can hire others like me :)

  49. @Sujatha Satya...

    i am glad you read it seriously :) and i am glad you read the resume seriously otherwise how would have you known my virtues :P

    so you think i was over qualified naw? :) how to decrease that?

    yes karib karib baaraah hazar...and only 100 accepted :( the acceptance ration is very low here :( ask mishi.. :P

  50. @Nisha..

    you are absolutely right... one cannot get anything without luck... and as you mentioned when we see such people on such posts, every hope vanishes... i know a lot of these kind of people...but in the end whats the point in getting everything with deception?why not start robbing and theiving? after all there is only conscience inside us and if we cant face it then what the point in life?

    thanks for wishing me... and i wish you the same :)

  51. @Andy...

    thank you my friend for liking :)

    yes i guess the employers are afraid thats why they dont offer me a job :( :P

    yes i think i should think of building my own empire and then i will give jobs to people purely on merit and exceptional resumes :p

    i am glad our blod does not disappoint you :) and thanks for liking the profile pic... :)

    ah... i found many and proposed..but the problem is that none accepted me :( so the quest is on :P

  52. @Zeba..

    shukrya janab... :)

    haw mere khyal me itne friend req to aj tak kisi ne send nahi kiye honge aur phir bh just 100 friends :( :P
    dekh le... is ke bawajood bh mujhe job nahi mil rahi :( hadd hai naw? :P

    who says you cannot write in URDU? i dare say you should be posting in URDU... it will be nice to read something in URDU from you :) and i am glad you liked it...means a lot to me...

  53. @kiran shah...

    hahaha..i never thought of that like dr.adian..yes sure may be the employers are afraid of my qualification :P

    yes that happens all of the time in todays world that one do not get what one deserves..but life is not always fair :(

  54. @kiran shah...

    ah...that was just an approximate calculation... maybe there is a little chance of error :P

    i am glad you enjoyed it :)

  55. @the butterfly effect...

    yes i think thats it..everything happens for a reason...but we humans are impatient... :)

    yes i will do as told by you :)

  56. @the butterfly effect...

    sigh...yes i am still jobless :P

  57. @Hypercryptical...

    thanks for liking it... :) i am glad you liked it... :)

    ah..thanks for your offer.. :) yes sure when you will get enough donations to set up a company then do hire me :P
    you are too much...hahahaha

  58. @anonymous...

    sorry i said @ sudoku ... woh zehan me tha so whai type hogya :( :)

  59. @the butterfly effect...

    Ameen... and to you too :)

  60. What's with your display picture? Scientists freak me out. >_<

  61. Don't go there... why on earth u want that :P

  62. @Crystal...

    oh bad luck :P

  63. don't go for decreasing the qualifications :P

    ## but what can one day? i mean one can increase ones qualification but how to decrease? :P ##

  64. @Jyoti Mishra...

    haha..okay i will not decrease it :) :P


    keep it up. :P

  66. @MAHNOOR...

    welcome back...
    yes sure i shall :)

  67. The frieed to friend request ratio cracked me up.

  68. @secret agent woman...

    yes this is the sad part :P

  69. I really thought this was some kind of serious post with statistics and all. But these stats, I like. A very impressive resume indeed. :D

  70. @Jyothi...

    welcome to our blog...

    i am glad you liked it...and unfortunately the real situation is no different in this world...

    hope for the better :)

  71. This is clever and hilarious, Muhammad! I might post it on my FB later on. :)

  72. @Lydia...

    i am really honoured by the gesture :)

  73. Omg You should definitely have a job with such a faantastic resume... :P

  74. lol :p this was toooo good :) i really thought ki kuchh kaam ka likh rahe ho. . . You know 'social issues' types :p

  75. @S. Mahnoor Shah...

    ah..thank you so much that you considered me eligible for a job :)

  76. @S. Mahnoor Shah...

    Faaantastic was ok too :) thanks for reading and liking :)

  77. @jalpari...

    welcome back after a long time... hahaha kaam ka likhna me ne band kardia hai :P

    now that you are full fledged doctor, you have restricted your blog page so that i cannot comment on any post :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(



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