Monday, October 17, 2011

Research Publication

It is required for a Ph.D candidate to have at least one research publication before he/she is awarded the degree. After spending so many years and still having no publication, I tried to be smart and publish something. Unfortunately, there are people still wiser than me and hence, I couldn't publish anything. Panicked, I tried something else. I sent it to a journal which didn't exist. And viola! it was published. On Facebook. Some of my facebook friends have seen it already but for those who have not, I am publishing it on Blogger. Enjoy.

Visit this post to know what is CEMB. Mess is the place where people eat. If there is any error, you can tell.

P.S. Dare to publish like this only if you want to shorten your stay at the university. :)


  1. I am over the moon that thanks to a comment by your good self on my blog I found you! You are undoubtedly my new hero!

    Your research is astounding, methods exemplary and your readily admitted COI I am certain has not led to bias on the resulting outcome.

    Your discussion was admirable in its frank honesty and the significant results were indeed significant!

    Unfortunately Alokazy is not stocked at supermarkets in the UK - although it may be at specialist Asian grocers (I shall have to investigate)- and I am therefore unable to add weight to your fine research by agreeing that your desired outcome (that of Alokazy being the supreme tea) can be agreed upon - as I cannot sip this fine nectar.

    (Nevertheless I bow to you judgement).

    Anna :o]

  2. lolz..trying to erase out name of an author!? why? you had conflicts of interest or conflicts ON interest?

  3. Congrats for it was on FB! It's interesting indeed. As seen in the graph, Alokozay is ranked top followed by Lipton (which is my favourite). Alokozay must be the one with the superb taste. Can't say much as I have never tasted it and I don't know whether it exists in my country. Anyway, you had put up an effort in your tea research and reading your work is always interesting. I could sense that sense of humor of yours in the introduction to this research. ;) And your P.S. is worth pondering. :)

    Bravo! You have done it. :)

  4. Ha ha ha! That takes me back to grad school. We used to joke about success through dividing your work into LPU's (Least Publishable Units).

  5. Research on Tea is good indeed. Tea is very popular now in the Us, even more than coffee as seniors are getting bigger and bigger in numbers and they do not care for coffee. Try sending it to some food magazine here. Even if you don not get paid, the published article will be an addition to your resume. This is Munir over here at Focus. Congrats!

  6. please blog me quarter kilo of your Alakozay
    I will oblige with the same quantity of Kannan devan
    I have a research publication pending.. I have hope now
    you are just impossible Israr :)

  7. Forget it. I won't understand a word.
    And conflict of interests. Haha!

  8. alokozay ? no idea....but in India 3 roses,kanan devan are the best taste teas and tetley here is the best in green tea category....whatever i recommend u to take the healthy green tea everyday which i give no1

  9. You sent it to a journal that didn't exist ha ha! I can see your humour woven throughout this writing along with some typos which I imagine are intentional? :D LiptIon ~ is that some kind of lotion for the lips? :p

    I am only familiar with two of the tea brands which are Lipton & Tetley. I like coffee but I was raised on tea so it is still my preferred choice :)

    Loved the P.S. :D & thanks for sharing this with us :)) I'm off to bed ~ after midnight here but I did want to stop by to thank you for the link you left on my blog ~ will leave a reply there on my manana :)

  10. What all people do for getting a few free mugs! LOL @ The Research Publication.

    When I was staying close to Nilgiri Hills (Filled with Tea estates), I heard some weird stories about how Tea was introduced by the British in the Indian Sub-continent. One of them says that they used to serve Tea for free, until all the people got addicted to it!

  11. oh great boss. its really good. soooo..... i can try..... may be....... otherwise......... i m still paperless ;)

  12. really a wonderful effort by you BRAVO !!!

    i personally like coffee and in tea i am with rest of world, no tea can compete LIPTON always world class no doubt ;)now i think Unilever should pay me 4 their publicity on Misterio's blog :P

    and i am really impressed by the author and especially CO-AUTHOR m a big big fan of her proficiency and impact factor too ;)

    and being the contributor of blog i must say MISTERIO KHAPPY :)

    keep sharing more of your publications :)

    best wishes :)

  13. Hello.
    Laughing...this is just too sent it to a non-existent journal & now you are published...BRAVO!

    I'm really liking your sense of humor, Israr.

    Now about that Bashful Lady, all you need to do is serenade her with a couple of love poems & she'll be hooked! (lol)

    Nice one, my friend!

  14. That's better than publishing by a non-existent author! Congratulations!

  15. :D PHD on chai :D that too with Katrina Kaif with the help of wiki :) but why Asif Ali Zardari? Why credit him, it is your thesis.. :P

  16. hahahahaha awsum :D
    btw thanx gor ur great comments everytime on my blog

  17. I am in wonder how these types of ideas come to head and how you make it so interesting... I am not so familiar with different types of tea....but Lipton is my favourite...:-)
    Imaginatively twisted piece...he he he...I cant stop wondering at you sense of humour uniquely displayed by unique ideas...keep going are really a creative nutshell:-)

  18. Israr!
    Usualy I dont take tea coz I cont bear such hard things, bt I think I can rly on ur choice abt tea...-p anyway congratulations for this research....:) keep on sharing ur worth views....

  19. Israr!
    usualy I dont take tea coz I cant bear such hard things bt I think i can rely on ur choice abt tea....-p anyway congratulatins for this research....:) keep on sharing ur worthy views to us.

  20. Oh, Israr, I see that now you are hyperCRYPTICal's new hero too!

    Will this publication be considered by your committee? I ask in all seriousness, because I do not know what their criteria is...or if possibly you have broken into a new realm of research publication that they will now have to acknowledge as legitimate!

    My mind is now steeped with interest in finding your winning tea. I have never seen it here in the U.S., but I will still search for it. Interestingly, Tetley is inexpensive here and I buy it in rather large boxes for my husband's lunches! Lipton is alright. I tend to like the more exotic brands that I find in specialty shops.

    I did a research paper on employee turnover at my former place of employment when I finished my BA. I also had a sampling of 100 or so people and it turned out to be a huge project, but I learned so much...and my employer used my finding (and I was given a promotion upon graduation). :)

  21. lol... btw, i hate tea. unless of course we are talking about Kashmiri chaye, which btw , i dont think you're talking about.

    i make awesome kashmiri chaye and i make horrible normal tea. but i have no idea how my father and brother in law are brave enough to drink it every evening.

  22. nice...used to do stats in college to determine attitudes and bias...the for fear of no significant data made me chuckle...

  23. Ha ha very interesting indeed! I m totally a coffee person, dont like tea at all!

  24. Congratulations for completing your research followed by beautiful and very intelligent responses from the blogging community.
    Israr! Sincerely, I am impressed.

  25. interesting topic you have there... congrats and take it as a good start!

  26. Whatever Katrina says is always correct

  27. Fun read..
    well u get so many readers here :)
    publication a Success !!

  28. @hypercryptical...

    hey...come back please :)
    i am glad you found me :P
    and i am honored that i am your new autograph? :P

    I am glad you liked my research and methods, COI and bias :P

    and yes results must be significant otherwise the journal (facebook) wont publish it :P

    Oh...its so sad that UK markets dont stock Alokozay given that UK is the biggest consumer of black tea...i hope you find it somewhere :)

    i am glad that you agreed with my judgement and find alokozay as a perfect blend :)

  29. @anonymous...

    actually i try to hide these names because i dont know if the authors would be willing to share their identities on blogger or not :P

  30. @Balquis...

    thank you thank you :) yes it was on fb...the most widely read journal :P

    i am glad your favourite lipton got second position :) congrats to you :)

    P.S. was must otherwise some people would have taken the research seriously :P

  31. @secret agent woman...

    i am glad it brought back the memories of your grad school :) thanks...

  32. @anonymous...

    yes tea is a must here from children to seniors..its the favourite beverage of our country...and no meeting no meal is complete without it :)

  33. @Pygmalion...

    i thought alokozay was a famous brand especially when after writing this publication, Katrina Kaif was made brand ambassador of alokozay :P

    sure you can blog me Kannan devan as i guess its a famous brand on your side :)

    yes sure i hope yours will be published too :) keep hoping... and thanks :)

  34. @crystal...

    oh come on aayushi... you can understand it :P and there was no conflict of was just.. :P

  35. @nisha...

    oh so sad then that alokozay is not there... see its now proved from research that alokozay is the best :P

  36. @Lady Fiona...

    ah...naw i never notice the typo in Lipton..thanks for correction..but there are certain intentional mistakes and it proves that we humans have tendency that we are unable to read the fine if i omit the lipton from the graph then everybody would have noticed it but see i said we checked 6 brands but then i named 7 and in the graph i omitted Tapal and gave 6 and nobody notices it :)
    thats exactly we do with real research papers...

    yes i like coffee too but only in winters..but tea is year round beverage :)

    gracias :)

  37. @exciting songs...

    haha..well i guess after this publication, alokozay should give me some mugs and probably make me their brand ambassador on blogger :P are you listening alokozay? :P

  38. @Faidad Khan...

    thanks man...yes sure you can try this type of research and i am sure it will be publish in some journal :) i am too paperless :)

  39. @Maria Almas...

    thank you ji :)

    ah...yes coffee is best but only in winters...but rest of the year tea is the thing...and also when guests come then tea is must :)

    well, i thought lipton would be number one but now that research has proved that alokozay is number 1 so you must accept the fact :P
    and i think alokozay should pay me and perhaphs arrange a lunch or dinner for the authors of this paper together :P

    u be kuch write karo shabash...ur posts also khappay :)

    thanks :)

  40. @Andy...

    i am glad it made you laugh :) yes there are certain things which are done this way in real world and especially in science and this publication business so that was a humourous take on those issues :)

    ah...i think i would be serenading below her room window to forward my suit and lets see if she accepts it or throw stones at me...if i remain absent for long from blogger then you should understand that your advice backfired....... :P

  41. @dave king...

    hahaha..thats nice...a non-existent author... :)
    thanks you liked it..

  42. @blunt blogger...

    hahah..yes i guess a ph.d with katrina would be very welcome in both countries and a good sign :) lets see...

  43. @Roseete princess...

    thanks i am glad you liked it :)
    and welcome..the pleasure is mine :)

  44. @Nasnin...

    as they say " khali khopri shaitan ka ghar" :P so i can only think of these types of things :P

    i am glad your favorite brand got second congrats to you :)

    i am blushed now...thanks for appreciating so much and it means a lot..i am just learning from you people and i am glad i am going good :)

  45. @kiransha...

    too bad that you live in this country and you dont like tea :( but i think once you sip a cup of alokozay tea you would definitely like it :)

  46. @kiranshah...
    thanks that you like it :)

  47. @lydia...

    too? means i was someones else hero as well earlier? :P

    hahaha...if i dare submit this publication to my univ committee they will surely kick me out of the univ...that was just for fun :)
    but seriously there are publications which are much worse then this one and they are accepted and published by quite reputed journals :(

    well i guess coffee would also be not expensive but here in our country its very expensive like a 250g of decaf costs more then 3kg of lipton :)

    well..i am glad you got something out of your univ research and its very much on the applied side :) congratulations to you...

  48. @the butterfly effect..

    wow wow..kashmiri chai..plz blog me some if you like :P

    yes i was talking about black tea :) simple balck tea which consists of sugar, water, milk and tea leaves :)

  49. @Brian Miller..

    welcome to the blog... i am glad you liked it...
    well there are lot of different options and buttons so in the end we get significant results from almost anything as long as one doesnt want to apply just a specific test :P

  50. @Ria...

    lets see whenever i will get a chance to do some research on coffee as well...till then enjoy alokozay :)

  51. @Tariq mian...

    thank you sir..i am glad you and all the bloggers liked it and enjoyed it :)

  52. @cindyrina...

    welcome to the blog...and thank you..i am glad you liked it :)

  53. @A...

    you summed of the research aptly :) thanks :)

  54. @jyoti mishra...

    well i guess it is a success that you people liked it...thank you :)

  55. I'm not going to get even a word of it :D hahaha

  56. Great Research
    As I only know the taste of MESS tea so I can't say anything about the other brands.

    But congrats,your choice is the best.

  57. Congratulations!
    Keep up the great work.
    all the best

  58. I personally do not like tea, i think its yucky. But your research is interesting, i do not know which brand my mother buys for tea.. But the carton is red i guess... And i guess the only word our President thought the nation was Khappay lol.

  59. u published with Katrina Kaif ah!
    liked the reference :)


  60. a scholar's research publication is not my cup of tea :))

  61. Buwhahahahahaha mjhe b aisa paper publih karna hai :P Infct a lotttt of papers :p
    But I havent even decided my thesis topic yet :(

    Wese I hate TEA and KK ;) :D

  62. heyyyyy
    lolz at katrina kaif i hope its no spooof..! :P

    yes i knw pretty too much about research and publications coz mere sis k 2-3 publish hue ae
    she doing her post-grad..! :)
    congrats..! :P :)

  63. @Sunakshi...
    very bad of you :P u dont have to understand it..just drink Alokozay :)

  64. @Basharat...

    poor you... i wish your mess now start using Alokozay :)

  65. @Short Poems..

    welcome to the blog...and thank you for reading and liking :)

  66. @S. Mahnoor Shah...

    v.bad that you dont like tea :P and i guess the red carton must be Brookbond supreme... :)

  67. @Sub ...
    welcome to the blog...
    yup we published it together..KK was on of the authors :P

  68. @Sujatha Sathya...
    hmm its ok...make it your cup of coffee if you like :)

  69. @Aliza khan...

    you decide your topic and then you can publish it :p
    you mean you hate tea and also hate Kk? come on...

  70. @Suvaiba..

    yes Katrina did publish this one with us :P
    and whats your sis studying? hope her publications are real :P

  71. @crystal...

    yes sorry i know i should have updated..but actually i wrote a guest post for some blog and i thought this week i will not update my blog but the post is still not up on that blog even though it shoudl have been 2 days ago :(
    i will post tonight if it was not up on that blog :)

  72. Israr, may be I wasn't very observant for a few things in this blog. Now, I'm here again and earlier saw your phrase "Mysterious Comments". I don't know whether it was there during my last visit. Anyway, the phrase is so fitting. May I say, you posts are like a mixture of spices which you serve readers. You know, it's really very interesting cos you could inject some sense of humor besides some facts. Sometimes, it's mysterious, too! :))

  73. lol would like to have participated as I love tea .....and mugs. Never hear about alokozai. Must look out for it

  74. Mesterio you are fantabulous I can say. Reason is, you are all rounder person in writing every sort of publications and writings. Forsurely you can get around 70 to 80 impact factor for this worthwhile publication. I am impressed to see second author with you really, she can get additional embedded impact score for her presence with you even :). The novel you are is unimaginable, the subject so selected is astounding, because I have never seen a Biological scientist writing on tea and have been able to prove that Uniliver is far behind than Alokozay. I am lucky gentleman to embrace its flavour and taste :)

    Mess tea is above average but the graph is pointing downward is quite alarming, we all know very well that mess administration is using world’s renowned tea brand i.e. Khanjarwal Tea, one of its kind :) but after all Alokozay is on the top. Please don’t try to shrink your stay at CEMB by writing something against Mess tea, you have to publish lots of more while you remain in Phd and to have degree in the end :).

    In the end please guide me how to deregister redundant IDs from your blog? Mistakenly I have been registered already with two IDs, i.e. Atifey and Atif Khattak. I just want to make a unique hyperlinked ID “Quality in every thing we do” for future prefrencial reference, like in your earlier post “The way you make me feel”. I shall be greatful.

  75. @Balqis...

    yes sure you are observant...and the phrase Mysterious comments was not there before..i just edited it as i thought it is more suitable with our blog title :) and the commentators are mysterious with their comments so :P
    i am glad you like my posts and i hope you would like my guest post as well :)

  76. @Marja...

    finally someone who likes tea :) gracias... yes sure you will receive free mugs from Alokozay :P
    hope you find it there :)

  77. @Atif...

    there is a link just below the FOLLOWERS tab you click it and then sign in with your google id which you want to remove...then above the FOLLOWERS tab you will see your name and then just below it there will be a link OPTIONS you click it and then click SITE SETTINGS... then look for the link STOP FOLLOWING THIS SITE... and your name will be removed from the followers list....

  78. @Atif...

    i am grateful as always for your kind and appreciative words that you speak so highly of me and i am honoured because chartered accounts are known to be extremely careful even with their words :)
    yes the second author is a nice researcher i think and with great impact :)
    see with research you can prove Unilver should hire me for their brand marketing or else next time they would be below mess tea :P

    i know the reason that now you dont want to return to CEMB is due to mess tea :P

  79. Okay. I am not really sure how to react to this. Also my excuse is that I am not a tea drinker. :-)

    Send it to a publication that did not EXIST?? Now you REALLY have me wondering.:-)

  80. @Zeba...

    ah..u must try the tea now after this research :)

    yes that is the main thing that it is published in some thing that does not exist :P

  81. Arey. I passed by after SO long thinking that I will have some major catching up to do but you disappoint me.. :-( Why haven't you been writing? I checked out your guest post... Lovely it is. Sigh. Been good?

  82. @Zeba...

    well, there was that guest post and then EID and then i did not have access to the internet and then there were some posts by other contributors which i have not seen and so.... any how i am glad you missed my writings...hopefully i will be posting next monday :) hope you will enjoy it :)

  83. sajjad sadique9 June 2012 at 21:19

    frankly, this is undoubtedly the first ever study of its kind on tea....i wonder how much love the author has for alokozay..but at the same time i am greatly disappointed by below par performance of mess tea....the author is a "LA bell'uomo DAME SANS MERCI" who has no mercy on mess tea.....
    if i were the authority...i would have been more than happy to award a phd degree on this work......bravo sir

    1. dear thank you very much for reading and liking my research :) well at that time mess tea was really below par :P and alokozay was on top :)
      hahaha... it could be "el bell uomo sire sans merci" :P ... lets hope somebody get a degree on this research as well :) best of luck...



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